|Photo by Victoria Heath from Unsplash|
Throughout the course of our lives, whatever path we take, we can never fully shield ourselves from the opinion of man. As long as humans have mouths, they will always use them for their interest whether for a good cause or bad. All of us have experienced being told something offensive and rude, and unfortunately, for many of us, this has caused them to break down.
Who were once ambitious people are now hopeless and broken-hearted because they allowed the opinion of a mere person to dictate the fate of their lives. The people who had wild dreams and resilient spirits ceased to walk down the road because they believed in what a stranger (who barely knows you) told them. It’s saddening to witness these people’s dreams being shattered to an extent where they no longer want to dream again.
If you’re happy and successful, you are likely to attract the kind of people with the same ideologies and interests towards your life but that also includes the kind of people who don’t. It’s true when they say one reason people don’t like to be successful is the wave of hate they’re going to get. Discouraging commentaries, doubts, and insecurities projected on you are only a few of the many hatred that these haters show you daily.
People hating on you are inevitable. People love to destroy anything better and shinier than them. Do you ever wonder how successful people respond to haters? For entrepreneurs most especially, surely they’ve received more hate than anybody else yet they’re still standing tall with their empire on the ground. So how do they do it?
WHY ARE THERE HATERS AND WHY DO THEY KEEP HATING?
When we talk about haters, let’s be honest and admit that we all have been haters (and maybe we still are) for reasons that we can’t fully explain. Know that at some point in your life, you’ve been a hater to your sibling, to your friend, and even to your neighbor. You don’t want to admit that you’re hating on them because you tell yourself you don’t want to do that, but subconsciously, you are. You can’t help but spot something wrong amidst the sea of praises one gets because you’re furious about the attention and compliments he gets.
On the flip side, you blatantly show that you’re hating on them because you have reason to believe that they don’t deserve the success they’re getting or you think they pulled some strings to get where they are. Regardless of what we think, as humans, we have the capacity of fueling jealousy in our hearts because we look at someone else’s life and feel that urge to want it for us too, and because their success isn’t a tangible thing that we can take away from them, we are left desperate yet insecure that there’s nothing we can do but to stand by, watch, and hate.
Usually, we were (are) haters ourselves because we want what they have, we want the potential that they have. We can’t stand by and watch from the shadows that they are moving forward meanwhile we are left behind. We see them as a threat in our non-existent competition we make up in our heads and is hurting ourselves. Sometimes, we hate on them because we want to be them, or at least we want to be the selective parts of them which we struggle to become. What we hate in a person is the fact that they can work hard and achieve their goals in a relatively short amount of time (or so we thought).
We get mad at the praise he’s getting (because all we see is everything wrong about him) and so we project our insecurities onto him. As long as we fuel our minds and hearts of discontentment and misery, we will always be that hater in the room whose only job is to hate and nothing more. We will always be that person who keeps bringing other people down so we can feel like we’re propelled higher or we’re at an advantage but we’re not.
6 EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES TO RESPOND TO HATERS:
Most of the time, haters are just looking for ways to see you break down past your limit, and one way of doing that is to get your attention and start from there. They’re jealous of your strength and perseverance, so they want to see how much you can take. These haters are waiting for the opportunity to gain leverage over them. They will throw you any hurtful words to bleed your skin but usually, they don’t have the guts to tell it to your face. In this case, the best way to handle these haters is to ignore them. Don’t waste your time and energy denying every story they make up about you or explaining to them everything you do to appease them as there is no point.
PROVE THEM WRONG
One way to respond to haters is to prove them wrong of their judgment about you. The best way to do this is to show the results, not mere promises. Show them that you do deserve success and happiness because you work hard for it. You attract goodness and gratitude because you surround yourself with people who have the same values and aspirations. You got where you are now not because of luck but because of hard work and commitment to your goals. Prove them wrong not to gloat, but to honor yourself for all the amazing achievements that you have done but have been downplayed by people like them.
TAKE THEIR HATE AS A COMPLIMENT
It’s a matter of your perspective. Why do you think they are hating you in the first place? Because they are jealous that you are getting what they’ve always hoped of getting, whatever it may be. They are jealous that the certain situations they find as ordeals, you made it through easily. And most of all, they are jealous that despite the unforgiving amount of hate being thrown by them and the rest of the world with the same toxic mindset as they are throwing at you, you didn’t give in and you didn’t listen to them. Instead of feeling bad, feel empowered, important, and relevant.
Think of the reasons these haters are doing this to you, and draw motivation from it. Use that opportunity to build on their hate., not propagate it. The more they hate, that means the faster and bigger you are growing. Look at it from a different perspective: as long as they keep taking up their precious time and energy to dedicate words of hate on your life on progress, that means you’re worthy of their sacrifices (and they don’t even realize it). That means your influence is so great that they can’t resist breaking their daily routine to leave a couple of comments about how you’re trying so hard to be funny in that video.
CHERISH THOSE WHO LOVE YOU
What I mean by this is to let your positive vibration make the noise for them. Let your success, the word of mouth from people who support you sound the party horns for you. One way to respond to haters is to treasure the supporters and build a community, a support system around them. In this way, there is a mutual give-and-take relationship between you and your supporters, and no room for those whose aim is to spread negativity. When you show your gratitude to the people who believe in you (no matter how few they are), you celebrate your achievements with them and make them feel important to you.
With your success, you boost their self-confidence to set success in their lives as well, making it a remarkable impact on them. This means that you brag to your haters that you have a solid number of people who trust in your capabilities and show them that their input is not needed nor is it welcome. You show them that you don’t have to show off your successes to them because there’s no need to. Don’t give your haters any of your attention but become so invested in yourself that you won’t need to do anything to make the noise because you can do so without even trying.
USE THAT OPPORTUNITY TO DEVELOP YOUR ATTITUDE
When people are hating on you, use that opportunity to be a better person. Strive for patience so you can control your anger and you wouldn’t do impulsive actions that you will regret later. If a certain remark triggers you into talking back to them, remember that it doesn’t matter what you say for they will always interpret it the opposite of what you meant. They have their interpretations of things, and no matter what you say or do, they will stick by it unless they, themselves, don’t want to anymore.
Long story short, you can’t control their minds. Don’t let them sidetrack you into keeping you lose focus on your daily goals, because these haters are not worth it. With the prevalence of haters especially in social media, let that be your inspiration to be the opposite. Let it be your sign to be better, to achieve greater things, and to be an example worth emulating by the unborn generations.
PRAY FOR THEM
Last but not the least, what can mutually benefit you and those haters is to pray for them. I would understand if you wouldn’t want to help them by giving them good graces because after everything they’ve done to you, why would you, right? But it’s important you realize that the reason they’re hating is that deep inside, they feel like they’re drowning in life. They feel nothing but misery and mediocrity in everything they do, and the one way to make lightly their situation is to dim the lights of somebody else. It’s an awful perspective to see life, but give them the benefit of the doubt that perhaps the reason they see the way they do is they didn’t know any better.
If you have the ability and the heart to change even your hater’s life, you’re not only influential but also kind. You understand that we have all been haters in our lifetime, so cutting them some slack would be a good thing to do. Pray for them that they see and be guided to their purpose in life. Pray that they will not breed doubt and fear against those who are trying to get their life together just because they haven’t got theirs all figured out.
As we hustle and work for our dreams, it’s important to protect ourselves from any form of hate by learning how to cope with them (because you never really get rid of them). Accept that at whatever point in life, people can and will always say something about it because it’s easier to comment on what you can see from your point of view instead of what you can’t see in the mirror. Let your haters be your driving force, your fuel, your propeller to move forward at an accelerated speed. No entrepreneur got successful because they spent every minute of their working life stuck on a snappy comeback to nine of their new haters. No successful CEO got to where they are now because they let some hater tell them they can never make their dreams a reality (only because they think they can’t).
You may not have the power to control what they have to say but you can control how to react and respond to it. You can either bawl your eyes because one out of the ten people who believe in you say otherwise or see it as a challenge, a reason to keep showing up until you’ve made it to the top. It’s your choice.
“Most haters are stuck in a poisonous mental prison of jealousy and self-doubt that blinds them to their own potentiality.” – Steve Maraboli
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